The Holiday Season for Those with Troubled Teens

The holiday season is a time of excitement and anticipation as families plan for get-togethers, holiday meals, and gift-giving. It is a time of year that families usually look forward to with happiness and joy in their hearts. However, for some families there is a shadow hanging over them as they anticipate the coming holidays. For families who are struggling with a troubled teen that is out of control there is the hope that the holidays will go well and as expected, but also the fear that everything may come apart at the seams. Will their adolescent join in on the family functions and be congenial with family and friends? Or will their teen be surly, flippant, or even obnoxious to those around him, ruining the festivities for everyone present?
Many parents of troubled teens hope that if the holiday season goes well, it will mean that their teen has made a turn for the better, and that what they feared most will not have to come to pass. No parent wants to have to send their child away, even if they know it may save their life. We all want to think that we can do this ourselves. We are good, capable, and loving parents. And yet, for some of us, all the love, care, and concern that we have been giving to our troubled teen just gets thrown back into our faces. Rules are ignored and scoffed at. Behavior is beyond unacceptable. There is a feeling of a loss of what to do in order to stop the downward spiral.
Sorenson’s Ranch School has helped parents faced with the agonizing decision of what to do for their troubled teen for over 25 years as a residential treatment center for troubled youth. Before that we were a seasonal camp for troubled inner-city kids to get away for the summer. Over the years we have grown into a fully staffed and JCAHO-accredited residential treatment center for troubled youth as well as an accredited high school, grade 7 through 12. We have licensed therapists trained in dealing with the most difficult problems, such as RAD, BPD, and addiction issues.
If you are a parent with a troubled, out-of-control teen this holiday season, let us give you some hope with some words from other parents who also faced the difficult decision of what to do for their troubled teen:
“While we are fully aware that we must be diligent in our efforts to remain drug free, we feel the people at Sorenson’s Ranch have helped tremendously by developing our daughter’s love for animals…We are in awe of the changes she is making daily.”
“When our son came here, his future was dim and small. Now, thanks to you, it’s bright and big.”
“Last year at this time was very lonely for me and for my husband. Our son was with you for just over two months and we were trying to adjust to his being in someone else’s care. It was so hard and uncertain as to the outcome. Today I am relieved and loving every bit of being a mom. My husband and I are both so thankful for your love and care of him.”

Adoption and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

At Sorenson's Ranch School we have a lot of students who have been adopted. Most of these students were adopted at an older age and remember the abuse and neglect they experienced prior to adoption. Some adolescents do not remember the abuse and neglect they went through. Those that do not remember still have the experiences imprinted in their brains and experience symptoms from their earlier years of abuse and neglect.
During their treatment at Sorenson's Ranch School each student who has been adopted attends an adoption group. This group is offered to the students to help them recognize how some of the problems they are experiencing now stem from issues connected with their adoption. We help the students work through their feelings of anger and confusion related to their adoption. Students are also able to relate to each other and see that they are not the only ones that have certain feelings about their adoption.
It is important to note that the first two years of life are the most important and critical time for a secure attachment to take place. Children need to experience the cues of attachment from their primary caregiver. These cues are eye contact, touch, smiling feeding, heart connection and being in the caregivers arms. It is very important that the child’s needs are met during the first two years. Parents may wonder what some symptoms of a compromised attachment are that may be affecting their teenager. A brief list of these symptoms are low self-esteem, needy or clingy, extremely difficult time coping with stress and adversity, lack of self-control, behavioral and academic problems at school, lack of compassion and empathy, do not show remorse, aggression and violence, difficulty with trust, hoarding, difficulty showing affection, oppositional with parents and other authority figures, unable to develop and maintain lasting friendships, and negative view of self and the world in general.
Some of our students are diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and some have less severe attachment issues and do not fully meet the criteria for RAD, but still have some attachment issues related to their adoption that need to be worked on so that the adolescent can be successful in life and have successful relationships. It is important to get your child help early if they are experiencing symptoms related to attachment or their adoption.