The Holiday Season for Those with Troubled Teens

The holiday season is a time of excitement and anticipation as families plan for get-togethers, holiday meals, and gift-giving. It is a time of year that families usually look forward to with happiness and joy in their hearts. However, for some families there is a shadow hanging over them as they anticipate the coming holidays. For families who are struggling with a troubled teen that is out of control there is the hope that the holidays will go well and as expected, but also the fear that everything may come apart at the seams. Will their adolescent join in on the family functions and be congenial with family and friends? Or will their teen be surly, flippant, or even obnoxious to those around him, ruining the festivities for everyone present?
Many parents of troubled teens hope that if the holiday season goes well, it will mean that their teen has made a turn for the better, and that what they feared most will not have to come to pass. No parent wants to have to send their child away, even if they know it may save their life. We all want to think that we can do this ourselves. We are good, capable, and loving parents. And yet, for some of us, all the love, care, and concern that we have been giving to our troubled teen just gets thrown back into our faces. Rules are ignored and scoffed at. Behavior is beyond unacceptable. There is a feeling of a loss of what to do in order to stop the downward spiral.
Sorenson’s Ranch School has helped parents faced with the agonizing decision of what to do for their troubled teen for over 25 years as a residential treatment center for troubled youth. Before that we were a seasonal camp for troubled inner-city kids to get away for the summer. Over the years we have grown into a fully staffed and JCAHO-accredited residential treatment center for troubled youth as well as an accredited high school, grade 7 through 12. We have licensed therapists trained in dealing with the most difficult problems, such as RAD, BPD, and addiction issues.
If you are a parent with a troubled, out-of-control teen this holiday season, let us give you some hope with some words from other parents who also faced the difficult decision of what to do for their troubled teen:
“While we are fully aware that we must be diligent in our efforts to remain drug free, we feel the people at Sorenson’s Ranch have helped tremendously by developing our daughter’s love for animals…We are in awe of the changes she is making daily.”
“When our son came here, his future was dim and small. Now, thanks to you, it’s bright and big.”
“Last year at this time was very lonely for me and for my husband. Our son was with you for just over two months and we were trying to adjust to his being in someone else’s care. It was so hard and uncertain as to the outcome. Today I am relieved and loving every bit of being a mom. My husband and I are both so thankful for your love and care of him.”

Addiction Recovery Support Groups

Each month there is a new topic in the Addiction Recovery Support groups at Sorenson’s Ranch School. The topic is this month is about the drug marijuana. “What is the big deal?” The students say. “It is just marijuana.” “Man, it is just natural.” “It isn’t that bad.” So, in groups we have drawn The Pot Circle on the white board. It all starts with boredom or a personal problem, so the individual decides to use some marijuana, and before long the individual finds that they are making some poor choices or taking inappropriate action. Their use of pot increases because they become discouraged about some of the consequences that they are experiencing. All of a sudden they are fighting with Mom and Dad. “You don’t trust me anymore.” “Your rules suck.” “I should be able to do what I want to, when I want to.” “It’s my life.”
The list goes on. So the pot use increases. Soon the report card comes out, and the teen finds out that they are failing in school. Maybe they lose their job. At home, problems increase with parents and following the rules. They don’t want to associate with parents or go to family functions. So in the Pot Circle all of a sudden the adolescent is dealing with failure and disappointment in their lives. Nothing is working out for them. So the smoking increases. It continues and soon they realize that they have reduced their options. The teen becomes more disappointed. They continue to hang out with people who are all in the same predicament as they are. Most of these adolescents by now have been kicked out of school, either for being tardy or being caught smoking pot at school, or other similar behavior. Maybe the teenager has failed so many classes that he/she is feeling overwhelmed and guilty. Thinking, “If they would just leave me alone, I was handling everything.” “If people would just back off and let me do it my way, it would have all worked out.” “It’s all my parents’ fault, or the teachers’ fault.” “Who needs all of that anyway?” “Man, we have the life.” “Who cares?” “ I just want to be left alone.” “Hey, you do your thing, and let me do mine.”
Teenagers sit around and talk about what they are going to do, but the motivation to go do it has left. So they continue to do more and more pot. “Why keep pace with those crazy people out there?” “All they’re doing is sticking it to each other.” “Why can’t they relax?” This brings us to the final spot in the Pot Circle, reduced motivation. So the Pot Circle becomes a vicious cycle. In the Sorenson’s Ranch School group discussions we ask the students, “Where are you in the Pot Circle?” “Do you think that you have a problem with marijuana?” “Where is your life headed?”